never stop praying and hoping

i really wish 2009 will be a better year for me and people around me, people whom i love and adore.  esp my parents and of cos my little brother!

sadly this year, i won't end with a loud bang!  economic crisis.  

but i'm cool about it.  since i got to know that mom will be alone (without dad) celebrating the New Year.  i stay with her and count down to 2009, the mom's way...  and i'm not trying to make myself feel better. hahks!

the past two weekends was a 'restart', and i thought that we were on track.

but after last week, it went back to the silent cycle. - i was mistaken. 

and this afternoon, i lost my head! or should i say, lost my brains. 

sent a text, and didn't think long and far of the 'consequences'...

and less than 5 seconds, i felt like running to a toilet, open the toilet seat bowl and FLUSH my head!  

i said this over and over - 'what the hell is wrong with me!?  what did i just do to myself!?'

for the longest time in my life, i felt the ULTIMATE LOSER on the earth! 

but that feeling wasn't for long! - when i realized i still 'charm' a young stranger in the train when i was heading to town! hahahhaha.. so, i must say thank you to that mamat for saying 'hi' to me. 

so, i think (THINK) - i'm seriously and officially SINGLE. 

guess, its better this way for now as i'm in the midst of 'career crisis'.. 

once again - I'M NOT TRYING TO MAKE MYSELF FEEL BETTER! 

though i very much welcome new LOVE - SINCERE love. 

okie, snap back to reality...

allow me to list my priorities for 2009...

driving license

monthly savings

a better job, better still a career!

perm my hair, sexy big curls!  

real good time shopping without having to feel the guilt of overspending! 

a diploma (i'm not a bimbo!)

for now, a clear mindset! 

a mindset for a jet setting career!

YOU GO GIRL! (chebah! hehehe)

you know where to find me!