Its Just A Nightmare

This Eid wasn't just like the ones before.  Its a hella emotional rollercoaster ride for me. 

I'm hoping last night was just a nightmare.  And its just you testing me, how faithful I am towards you.  

But in reality...

I can't go on, without knowing the truth about you, about us.  What actually had happened?

The ring, bag, shoes, shoppings,movies and the bouquet of flowers.  And most importantly Phuket.  The moments we share.  The joys and jokes.  The plans. The MRT and bus rides. Though it seems just a 3 months, but it felt like a year.

I have been secretly making plans for us.  I don't think I have done enough to make you smile, like how you've been making me smile.

You wanted me to tell my parents that I'm seeing someone - which is yourself.  And now this thing happen.   

Please tell me this isn't happening.  And the 'I don't deserve you.  You deserve a better guy than me' is bullshit!  Why now then you realise it?  

Why don't you just come clean with what exactly you are up too. 

I'm trying to brace myself with the truth.  

____________________________

Sorry this came later than it should be...

Dearest Fandi Ramlan

i should have done this on the first day of eid in the morning, but i guess fate wasn't on my side, hence, i could only do now. 

Selamat Hari Raya, maaf zahir dan batin.  Halal kan segala makan minum.  

Please forgive me for all my wrongdoings towards you. 

If I have caused you any heartache and headache, my sincere apologies to you.

Wishing you a blessed life ahead.

Thank you for everything (everything).

Warmest regards,

Nuraini Giman