just go with it...

is it go with it or go along with it???

do i straightened it or do i just let it be???

am i naive or am i just 'not the bothered' sort?

i'm sorry, but actually i feel empty inside. 

i may have the attention of my gf.. 

i may have the love of my sisters...

but i am my parents' baby, still... 

but, i still feel for him...

recently, he has asked me to come back to him...

as much as i want him back, the irony is - he's too late...

not bcos, i've found someone...

bcos, he's just too late...

if he had asked me back to him, 1 week after what had happened...  the possibility of an 'US' again, is very LIKELY.. 

but, to go without me for month...

guess, its true, only time can heal.... 

but not everything can 'heal'.  

the moment he asked me back, i only thought of one person... the very one person whom i thought believed in the 'yellow ribbon project' - Mom.

prior to that event (come back to him), i had a chat with Mom or should i regard it as pouring moment of mother-daughter talk (which left me in tears, quietly without her noticing it).  i told her why he had left me - his tatts (that was what he had told me and i know, ppl out there will go like 'yeah right!' - what ever the reason/s he have for leaving me, its between him and God) And politely, Mom said, 'Please stop seeing him...'  In my heart, i said, 'I don't even get a chance to step on his shadow, whats more seeing him.' - guess Mom's yellow ribbon turned red ribbon (red alert!) when she got to know that her daughter fell for 'that' sort of guy.

miraculously, we never bumped onto each other.  though for a fact, we worked in the same building.  its either he is avoiding me or God wants us to be 'avoided'. 

i do question his sincerity asking me back.  why does he have to do thru sms and string of emails?  i believe when you want something (anything), its best when you let the other party listen to you.  listen to your explanations, listen to your voice of sincerity.  and the other party would be able to 'judge' and ponder/think about it (for my case, give a VERY DEEP THOUGHT to it). but i guess, guilty gets into him. 

like what my 18yr old sister quoted to me:

shame on him, for leaving you once..

shame on you, if he leaves you twice..

do you think i can bear to leave with that 'shame'?  i have pride but not ego!

so... what do you call a man/guy, who leaves a girl and then wants her back? jerk or a**hole?  

i leave it to you to decide... cos, sincerely... none of that 'kind words' i have for him.  i can't bear to put that title on him. 

i'm just a girl who thought had found her love. 

i'm just a girl who wants to be loved and pampered.

i'm just a girl....  and i'm still that girl. 

 

you know where to find me...