ObLiViOuS

it has been three weeks already...

and very soon it will be four weeks, simply means one month...

yes, one awful month... i should declare it - the most torment moment of my life.

i know its too soon... but it leaves a black mark in my life. sometimes i do ask myself, is it him that leaves a black mark or is it the way he ended everything?

on my second week after that episode, i wrote him an email. a very long email. pouring out to him... and surprisingly hours later, he replied...

sadly or foolishly, i still have feelings for him...

and i know its too soon to even say this... what i went through with him was so beautiful that i'm still hoping. hoping for something that is as good as nothing.

and now, there's someone out there reaching out his hands to me and hoping that i also would reach my hands out to him... but....

i'm not sure if i'm doing the right thing.

i don't want to lie to him. i'm done and over with lying and not be myself.

i don't want to be physically there when my mind is thinking of someone else.

the girls at work has been trying to avoid issues on relationship. Cos, i'll ended up changing the topic to something else that doesn't make sense - which is to me a challenging topic....

i'm missing you.... tho the heart aches when thinking of you....

you know where to look for me